Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
