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I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
