I look better un-naked...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
