i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
tell me about the eggs
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