So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
