Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
