I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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