i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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