pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
