I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
