I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
