I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
