i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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