M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
