we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
