I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
