I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
