Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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