Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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