Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize