.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
