Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
