nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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