Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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