ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
