Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
