My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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