Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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