Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
