Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have fence marks all over my body
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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