I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize