Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize