small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
