He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
