i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
its liver damage thursday
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
