I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
did i walk over a car last night?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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