You can't motorboat a personality
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
