I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
