Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
