so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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