Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
