A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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