so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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