ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I smell like Dick and happiness
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
