We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
