I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
