So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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