I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
