What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
