Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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