I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
