the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
