Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's blow job season.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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