i barfeds in our rink
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
