I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She needs sedatives and a leash
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
