I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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