I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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