you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
