i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
