yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
